Can I do different sizes? Can I do different colors? Don’t even fucking ask. Shit I can change is the name, the date, the fucking part at the bottom where it says “last fling before the ring!”

Please see below for some of the most commonly asked questions.

What forms of payment do you take?

Here at Badgerface HQ, we happily accept all major credit cards, as well as PayPal. We don’t currently accept payment in livestock, male strippers, or gold doubloons, but we are exploring those options.

How much is shipping? How do you ship?

For most items, shipping is $7 for the first item and just $1 more for each additional item. If you’re ordering a cubic fuck-ton of things (like 10+) ¬†and that shit is adding up fast, message me! I’ll (probably) be able to cut you a deal. Unless you live in Abu fucking Dhabi. Then you’re fucking screwed. Smaller items are cheaper to ship, and bigger items (like gift sets, holla!) are more. Everything ships via USPS, usually within 1-2 business days.

Do you ship internationally? What about APO addresses?

It’s all good, bitches. We ship everywhere.

Do you charge sales tax?

Yep, but only for New York state residents.

Do you ever offer coupons?

You better believe we do! Sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of the page, and like us on Facebook, to make sure you stay informed.

Yo! When will my order ship?

Usually, we ship within 1-2 business days, but there are exceptions. For example, there are times when it gets absolutely fucking nuts in the workshop, like around Christmas, say. We strive to maintain complete transparency– i.e., if we’re experiencing shipping delays, we’ll put up a message on the front page– and there’s always Line Jump order processing, available for $15 at any time. Just add that baby to your cart, and you’ll leap ahead of all the poor suckers lined up on the workbench, waiting to meet the big old world. The “line jump” is really only necessary if you’re squeaking under the wire trying to make a Christmas/Valentine’s Day/Mother’s Day deadline. Those are the biggies.

ACK! I need to change my order/address in some urgent manner!

No worries. Please contact us (<– make link to contact page) immediately. As long as your order hasn’t shipped yet, we can accommodate you.

My order never arrived. What's up with that?

Oh man. That blows! While US customers can generally expect their orders to arrive within 3-10 business days, international orders can take between 2-4 weeks and occasionally even longer to show up. Please check the tracking number that was emailed to you when your order shipped. If you don’t have a tracking number, or if your order was marked “delivered” but you haven’t received it yet, please contact us (<–link to contact here.).

You fucked up my order and I'm pissed!

Please accept our sincerest fucking apologies. Badgers, though ferocious and really fucking clever, are not immune to mistakes. Sometimes they happen. Please get in touch ASAP and we’ll make things right for you.

Can I return or exchange this item?

We do accept returns of unused, unopened items within 30 days of purchase. Please contact us if you wish to make a return.