That’s right, I’m saying it. Somebody had to. Somebody had to stand here and say it, just fucking open their glorious mouth and raise a glass to YOU. To the one who’s got my back through this whole crazy process. To the one who believes in me when I don’t even fucking believe in myself.
Can we talk for a minute about how UN AWESOME life would be without you? I mean, who would I have to yammer at? Who would put up with me? When I was ripe and ready to engage in fuckery, who would join me? Shit would be fucking bleak without all that fuckery, I’m telling you.
So, cheers, you fabulous bitch. We’re gonna drink some drinks. We’re gonna make fuckery happen. We’re gonna share some special fucking shit, ok? And it’s going to be so goddamn memorable.
– I fucking love you
– life would blow serious chunks without you
– you are making this wedding thing HAPPEN
– thanks for being one of my BRIDAL BITCHES
Now, go get your pamper on. You know you fucking deserve it.