That’s right, I’m saying it. Somebody had to. Somebody had to stand here and say it, just fucking open their glorious mouth and declare: you’re a MILF, ok? A gloriously goddamn smoldering MILF.
Can we talk for a minute about how that’s even possible? I mean, you’ve generated LIFE. A baby. It’s a beautiful fucking thing, sure, but it’s WORK. Screamy, sleep-deprived, shitty WORK. And yet you’ve managed to snap back into the sexy beast you always were. How? Where the hell do you get your foxy from, woman? Because I want to know.
And while I know I should be proud of you for your generosity, your hard work, your strength of character, blah fucking blah. I really just want to be proud of your never-ending foxtitude. It’s just totally fucking epic.
– you’re way hotter than you were when we met
– you’re a goddamn sexy beast
– you got foxy for miles
– you’re a goddamn MILF