If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the fucking rain, this might not be for you. If you’d prefer to SKIP the fucking rain and just chill, cocktail style, THIS is for you. Ditch that tacky fucking paper umbrella: you so classy, all you need is some glossy tropical goodness on that fabulous pout. You know it. Own it.
This natural lip balm has real-ass awesome cocoa butter, plus pure coconut and grapeseed oils and some fine French motherfucking beeswax. It must be said that this is not piña colada-FLAVORED. This is piña colada-scented. Piña colada-smellin. Don’t expect it to taste like fucking candy. And if your lips are sensitive, or if you’re allergic to fucking turmeric (hello!) obviously this might not be your jam.
– 100% pure-ass natural
– Nourishing fucking cocoa butter
– None of our products are ever tested on animals
– ½ oz aluminum tin
– 1.6” diameter
– Shipped in natural GreenWrap cushioning
– No fake shit
Pucker up, bitches!