Listen up, okay. I’m me and you’re you, but I’m 100% sure we can agree on one thing: mosquitoes SUCK. Like, really fucking suck. Like, it’s the first warm night of spring and you’re parked on the lawn with a fucking cocktail because why the fuck not, right, and then you hear it. Eeeeeeee. Louder. EEEEEEEeeeEEEEE. Swack! Eee. Swack! Swack! FUCK. Your poor pasty legs are outside for the first time since November and you’re half in the bag and it’s finally WARM and you can’t even enjoy it? Goddamn fucking bugs.
Arm yourself with this little cake of holy amazingness. It’s all natural, no fake shit. It’s one of our super-moisturizing dope as fuck Badgerface lotion bars imbued with a potent mix of essential oils: lavender, cedar, eucalyptus, and citronella. It’s enough to make those mosquitoes back the fuck off and mind their own business, at least enough for you to enjoy that badass drink of yours.
– 100% dope-ass natural
– Potent fucking essential oils
– Approximately 1.5 oz
– Measures 2 5/8″ across
– Wrapped in green glassine paper
– None of our products are ever tested on animals.
– No fake shit
So unwrap this shit and slather yourself all up. No more skeeters all up in ya grill. Just enjoying that warm weather in fucking peace, thank you very much.