We could tell you this shit is like soaking in a giant tub of tequila, but we’d be lying. Nothing is that fucking good.
But this shit comes pretty close. These bath salts are some no-fucking-around, full up seriously cleansing shit. They got the sodium, they got the magnesium, they got the potassium to balance out all your wacky shit, firm your skin, cleanse your pores, and balance your fucking checkbook. They’ll even break it off with that psycho bitch who keeps asking you to go to barre class with her.
This shit has real fucking amazing gingerbread spices and pure essential oils. It’ll tingle your ass. It’ll unschnoz your schnoz, if your schnoz is schnozzy. The Epsom salt will put the kibosh on any and all ass-aches and sore muscles, so if you’re butthurt you’ll soon be feeling fucking fantastic.