It's time to own up. You're pallid as fuck.
The winter was long and hard, and you haven't seen a decent sunbeam since Labor Day, amiright? It's ok. No shame. We can't all live near a tropical fucking beach.
Us pasty northern bitches, we gotta take bronzing matters into our own hands. We need some help. We need to say, enough of that pale shit, ok? It's time to start living life in BRIGHT neon fucking colors. Embrace. Warmer breezes are on their way. Will you be ready?
This natural bronzer will turn you a few shades darker, and is streak-free, with a hint of bronze shimmer. Not orange-y at all. Pinkie promise.
– 100% pure-ass natural
– Nourishing fucking shea butter
– None of our products are ever tested on animals
– No fake shit
Rock some summer glow, hoes.